Well since my last chemo session, I think I have had one good night of sleep. Guess last night wasn't meant to be #2. I've been up since 2:50am and so here I sit, waiting patiently for the rest of the world to wake up too. ( or at least the birds anyways)
So the Family meeting I put together last Sunday went over without a hitch I think. Pretty sad that it takes an event such as this to put all the family in one room for the first time in about 4 years. Nevertheless, it all went well and everyone is now on the same page. Mission Accomplished!!
I've kind of stayed away from the world this week. I guess with the onset of my physical disabilities, I've felt kind of overwhelmed, sad, mad, angry, upset, ticked off....I think you get my point. That being said, please don't take it at all personally if I have not returned your call, message, text etc. I am just in need of some "me" time right now and I will be back soon.
On a brighter note, my ex-military friends have now worked a deal with WestJet to fly myself, Faith and a third party to our choice of either Disney Resort in Florida or California. Amazing friends I have!!! I just have to contact WestJet and away we go :) Brad Norman, you are a Godsend my friend :)
Like I said, please bare with me for the next little while. I will certainly still be checking my e-mail daily still, so if you want to drop a "hello", feel free to drop it there. All your words of encouragement still mean the world to me :) ed_mcdade@hotmail.com
My family and friends....I love you all.
Sincerely,
me
Wednesday, July 16, 2008
Saturday, July 12, 2008
July 12/2008
A very early good morning to you all:
Well the side effects of my chemotherapy have certainly not let me down this month! I am tired and yet cannot sleep. This has been the case every time I do chemo. My MRI has been postponed until July 28th at 5:30am. ( I swear the scheduling folks do not like me) . This I have been told is because of the fact that my last chemo session was delayed due to low blood platelet levels.
Since my last blog I have had to take a few measures to ensure my own safely to remain living alone here on the farm. I am now one of those"Help, I've fallen and can't get up" people with an in-home monitoring system that connects to Parkwood Hospital. I am trying to get used to using a "quad cane" also. Don't laugh, the name is only referring to the number of feet on the cane! I am also getting another hand rail installed on the stairs leading up to the bedrooms so that I have more stability going up and down the stairs. (Getting bored of falling on the stairs!) I am also waiting on a foot orthotic device to help with my "drop foot" or in plain English, my pain in the arse foot that drags behind me!! lol
Not sure if I mentioned it in my last blog but the condition is now beginning to affect my left arm as well. Not nearly as severe as my leg but I feel the same symptoms coming. I have planned a family meeting for this Sunday so that we can all be together at the same time and I can review my current state and what lies ahead down the road. My reasoning for this is just to make sure all of my family hears first-hand information...at the same time, straight from the horse's mouth. Yeah, insert the "Mr Ed, the talking Horse" jokes here! But seriously, I'm hoping this family meeting turns out to be a good thing and maybe even a bi-weekly or monthly event.
So physically, my body is beginning to let me down. Its frustrating beyond words, to explain how one feels when their mind is still full of life but their body is letting them down in so many ways. I never would have thought, at age 40, that I would be "side-lined" at my daughter's soccer games instead of being on the field, coaching and having fun with her and her team. Mentally I am feeling overwhelmed. Just as the saying goes: "So much to do, so little time". I am thinking a weekend away from the world is in order very soon!!!!
Still with good humour and a bum leg,
Ed
Well the side effects of my chemotherapy have certainly not let me down this month! I am tired and yet cannot sleep. This has been the case every time I do chemo. My MRI has been postponed until July 28th at 5:30am. ( I swear the scheduling folks do not like me) . This I have been told is because of the fact that my last chemo session was delayed due to low blood platelet levels.
Since my last blog I have had to take a few measures to ensure my own safely to remain living alone here on the farm. I am now one of those"Help, I've fallen and can't get up" people with an in-home monitoring system that connects to Parkwood Hospital. I am trying to get used to using a "quad cane" also. Don't laugh, the name is only referring to the number of feet on the cane! I am also getting another hand rail installed on the stairs leading up to the bedrooms so that I have more stability going up and down the stairs. (Getting bored of falling on the stairs!) I am also waiting on a foot orthotic device to help with my "drop foot" or in plain English, my pain in the arse foot that drags behind me!! lol
Not sure if I mentioned it in my last blog but the condition is now beginning to affect my left arm as well. Not nearly as severe as my leg but I feel the same symptoms coming. I have planned a family meeting for this Sunday so that we can all be together at the same time and I can review my current state and what lies ahead down the road. My reasoning for this is just to make sure all of my family hears first-hand information...at the same time, straight from the horse's mouth. Yeah, insert the "Mr Ed, the talking Horse" jokes here! But seriously, I'm hoping this family meeting turns out to be a good thing and maybe even a bi-weekly or monthly event.
So physically, my body is beginning to let me down. Its frustrating beyond words, to explain how one feels when their mind is still full of life but their body is letting them down in so many ways. I never would have thought, at age 40, that I would be "side-lined" at my daughter's soccer games instead of being on the field, coaching and having fun with her and her team. Mentally I am feeling overwhelmed. Just as the saying goes: "So much to do, so little time". I am thinking a weekend away from the world is in order very soon!!!!
Still with good humour and a bum leg,
Ed
Monday, July 7, 2008
July 7/2008
Good morning everyone:
As you can probably see by the time of this blog, I am up at the "crack of stupid" again, which if you've been following my blog, means that I am back on chemo again. Yesterday was day 3 of my session. My MRI date is getting closer now (July 13) and because of the way I have been feeling lately, has me a little bit concerned. Unfortunately, my walking has worsened. I am stumbling and tripping now due to lack of any control of my lower leg. Not sure how much longer I will be able to walk unassisted. That frustrates the hell out of me. I've also noticed other physical and mental control issues that have been affected lately.
I have gotten away from using Facebook and Messenger for the most part in the past few weeks just so that I can concentrate on other things. I do still check my e-mail however, so feel free to message me though there.
With the worsening of my condition also comes some hard choices that may need to be made such as moving from my home to a more suitable single floor location. I will be very sad to leave here if it comes to that. I love it out here in the country. It gives me the peace and tranquility I need and I don't think I'll ever be lucky enough to ever have such great landlords as Rob and Marilyn again.
I might be able to manage if I had a room mate here but so far, nothing like that has panned out. If I have to move, that will also present another dilemma....where do I move to?? St.Thomas or Tillsonburg. Not choices I want to have to make!!
Until next time....
Ed
As you can probably see by the time of this blog, I am up at the "crack of stupid" again, which if you've been following my blog, means that I am back on chemo again. Yesterday was day 3 of my session. My MRI date is getting closer now (July 13) and because of the way I have been feeling lately, has me a little bit concerned. Unfortunately, my walking has worsened. I am stumbling and tripping now due to lack of any control of my lower leg. Not sure how much longer I will be able to walk unassisted. That frustrates the hell out of me. I've also noticed other physical and mental control issues that have been affected lately.
I have gotten away from using Facebook and Messenger for the most part in the past few weeks just so that I can concentrate on other things. I do still check my e-mail however, so feel free to message me though there.
With the worsening of my condition also comes some hard choices that may need to be made such as moving from my home to a more suitable single floor location. I will be very sad to leave here if it comes to that. I love it out here in the country. It gives me the peace and tranquility I need and I don't think I'll ever be lucky enough to ever have such great landlords as Rob and Marilyn again.
I might be able to manage if I had a room mate here but so far, nothing like that has panned out. If I have to move, that will also present another dilemma....where do I move to?? St.Thomas or Tillsonburg. Not choices I want to have to make!!
Until next time....
Ed
Sunday, June 29, 2008
Update 06/29/08
Good morning:
Hmmm, good news or not so good news first?
Lets start with the good news: If remember right from my last blog, I was to go to Cami and draw some ticket winners for the fundraising draws that my Cami friends had going on for the "Disney Dream Fund" for my daughter Faith and I. Well I am totally amazed to report that these wonderful people raised over $8100.00 for us. To this day, I am still overwhelmed by the amount of generosity they have all shown. They have certainly made this trip a dream come true. The plan is to go in late September or early October now. I cannot say thank you enough to all those who have contributed.
Ok, on to the not so good news now: Ever since that one bad seizure on the 19th of this month, I have taken a turn for the worse.The "focal leg seizures" have become worse than before and I am having a harder time walking. My appetite has dwindled and on occasion, my fighting spirit has been tested. I also could not begin my chemotherapy session this time due to a low blood platelet level. We will try again this week.
Ed
Hmmm, good news or not so good news first?
Lets start with the good news: If remember right from my last blog, I was to go to Cami and draw some ticket winners for the fundraising draws that my Cami friends had going on for the "Disney Dream Fund" for my daughter Faith and I. Well I am totally amazed to report that these wonderful people raised over $8100.00 for us. To this day, I am still overwhelmed by the amount of generosity they have all shown. They have certainly made this trip a dream come true. The plan is to go in late September or early October now. I cannot say thank you enough to all those who have contributed.
Ok, on to the not so good news now: Ever since that one bad seizure on the 19th of this month, I have taken a turn for the worse.The "focal leg seizures" have become worse than before and I am having a harder time walking. My appetite has dwindled and on occasion, my fighting spirit has been tested. I also could not begin my chemotherapy session this time due to a low blood platelet level. We will try again this week.
Ed
Wednesday, June 25, 2008
June 25/2008
Hello again
Well I was not able to start my chemo as planned yesterday because my blood platelet levels were too low. (those are the cells that help to clot the blood and prevent bleeding) So, I will get more blood work done on Monday and then go back to the Cancer Clinic next Friday and try again. Having a low platelet count is a side effect of the chemotherapy.
So I made it to Cami last Friday and drew all the winning names for the prizes. Congratulations to all the winners and a huge thank you to all who participated and organized it all. Once again, I cannot thank my Cami family enough.
While I was there, someone slipped me a piece of paper that had a poem/verse written on it. In a nutshell, it was about what that person thought of me as a human being, father, boss and friend. I will keep that with me forever. I won't mention any names for fear of embarrassing his manhood but thank you Ken H. ;)
Friday, June 20, 2008
Friday June 20/2008
Well I don't really like to come on here to report bad news but I feel I should let you know that last night, while watching Faith's soccer game, I had my worst seizure by far since this all started. I pretty much lost control of the whole left side of my body. If I were to rate them out of ten, I'd say all my previous ones were about a three or four and this one was about a twelve. Unfortunately, I was sitting right next to my parents who had to witness it all. (Sorry mom and Dad) I wished I was alone when it happened because now the worrying starts again. (not that it ever really left) Fortunately, Faith was on the soccer field at that time and didn't have to witness anything. I'm sure I got a few odd looks from the other soccer parents there.
I can certainly empathize with those people who have full blown seizures now! I felt embarrassed, mad, upset and a whole myriad of emotions the rest of the night. I'll call my clinical nurse today to see what they think and I go to see my neurosurgeon next Tuesday anyways. My own personal thoughts are that this was a result of the tumor re-growth. I'm not a doctor by a long shot but if it was the size of 2 grapes over a month ago, I'm sure it has almost doubled. (the books say it can double its size in 6 weeks) If that's the case, I imagine its beginning to put pressure on my brain again.
Ok enough about that. Today at 3pm, I have to be at Cami to draw a winning ticket as part of the amazing fund-raising efforts my Cami friends have put forth since my diagnosis. If any of you you read this before 3pm, please realize that I will be nervous has hell walking through those doors today. It will be the first time since January 14th I believe. So go easy on me ya hear!! lol
Until next time.....
Ed
I can certainly empathize with those people who have full blown seizures now! I felt embarrassed, mad, upset and a whole myriad of emotions the rest of the night. I'll call my clinical nurse today to see what they think and I go to see my neurosurgeon next Tuesday anyways. My own personal thoughts are that this was a result of the tumor re-growth. I'm not a doctor by a long shot but if it was the size of 2 grapes over a month ago, I'm sure it has almost doubled. (the books say it can double its size in 6 weeks) If that's the case, I imagine its beginning to put pressure on my brain again.
Ok enough about that. Today at 3pm, I have to be at Cami to draw a winning ticket as part of the amazing fund-raising efforts my Cami friends have put forth since my diagnosis. If any of you you read this before 3pm, please realize that I will be nervous has hell walking through those doors today. It will be the first time since January 14th I believe. So go easy on me ya hear!! lol
Until next time.....
Ed
Monday, June 16, 2008
June 16/2008
Hello my friends:
Well its been just over 2 weeks I think since my last blog. During that time I have been quite busy. Probably too busy for my own good but thats just the way I am. I received an e-mail from work last week informing me that there was MORE fund-raising going on within the Plant on my behalf for the Disney trip. Needless to say, I was once again amazed at the outpouring of kindness and generosity of my work family. From what I was told, it is going on until the end of the month so I'm sure in my next blog I'll have more surprises to report on.
This past Saturday, Brad Norman organized a silent auction and wing night at a local pub in Calgary Alberta on my behalf. From the e-mail I received yesterday, they had, at last count raised close to $2500 for Disney. Unbelievable isn't it!!? Brad and Darren Fieldsend are probably my 2 closest ex-military friends. I don't know where to begin with thanks to everyone who was involved with both my work and military family's efforts to get Faith and I to Disney this year. You are ALL amazing people with huge hearts.
Father's Day weekend was quite amazing this year. I was blessed with having my whole family here over the course of the weekend. Thank you all for making it such a memorable one :)
I must apologize for not answering phone calls etc over the past while too. Its great to hear from you all but over the past while, I've just felt a little overwhelmed by it all. I am normally a person who lives a pretty quiet and believe it or not, dull life! lol So bear with me please ;)
This coming weekend, myself, Faith, one of her friends and Faith's mother are going to Wheels Inn for the weekend. Its time to start making those little "memory cushions" to make the fall a little less painful. Jason and Shawn, consider this your notice that we will be in Chatham on Saturday and Sunday nights!! Hopefully we can visit for a bit. For those of you who may have raised an eyebrow or two.........no, Faith's mom and I are not back together after being apart for 6 years. Its just the right thing to do at this point and I would never think of NOT including her in the making of the memory cushion events.
I go for my next chemo session on June 24th. Three down, three to go! These sessions have certainly been very tiring. I'd imagine its everything to do with the higher dosage. My next MRI is July 13th.....not sure if I told you that in my last blog or not?? Damned brain!! heh heh
Well, thats all I can think of writing for now. I'm sure as soon as I post this, I'll remember something I should have written about!!
With heartfelt gratitude,
Ed
Well its been just over 2 weeks I think since my last blog. During that time I have been quite busy. Probably too busy for my own good but thats just the way I am. I received an e-mail from work last week informing me that there was MORE fund-raising going on within the Plant on my behalf for the Disney trip. Needless to say, I was once again amazed at the outpouring of kindness and generosity of my work family. From what I was told, it is going on until the end of the month so I'm sure in my next blog I'll have more surprises to report on.
This past Saturday, Brad Norman organized a silent auction and wing night at a local pub in Calgary Alberta on my behalf. From the e-mail I received yesterday, they had, at last count raised close to $2500 for Disney. Unbelievable isn't it!!? Brad and Darren Fieldsend are probably my 2 closest ex-military friends. I don't know where to begin with thanks to everyone who was involved with both my work and military family's efforts to get Faith and I to Disney this year. You are ALL amazing people with huge hearts.
Father's Day weekend was quite amazing this year. I was blessed with having my whole family here over the course of the weekend. Thank you all for making it such a memorable one :)
I must apologize for not answering phone calls etc over the past while too. Its great to hear from you all but over the past while, I've just felt a little overwhelmed by it all. I am normally a person who lives a pretty quiet and believe it or not, dull life! lol So bear with me please ;)
This coming weekend, myself, Faith, one of her friends and Faith's mother are going to Wheels Inn for the weekend. Its time to start making those little "memory cushions" to make the fall a little less painful. Jason and Shawn, consider this your notice that we will be in Chatham on Saturday and Sunday nights!! Hopefully we can visit for a bit. For those of you who may have raised an eyebrow or two.........no, Faith's mom and I are not back together after being apart for 6 years. Its just the right thing to do at this point and I would never think of NOT including her in the making of the memory cushion events.
I go for my next chemo session on June 24th. Three down, three to go! These sessions have certainly been very tiring. I'd imagine its everything to do with the higher dosage. My next MRI is July 13th.....not sure if I told you that in my last blog or not?? Damned brain!! heh heh
Well, thats all I can think of writing for now. I'm sure as soon as I post this, I'll remember something I should have written about!!
With heartfelt gratitude,
Ed
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