Hello all, its me, Ed McDade, owner and author of this blog page. I'm happy to announce that my move is pretty much complete. Thank you to all my family and friends that assisted and/or offered their help (I could not have done it without you!) I think I should have taken that trip AFTER my move instead of before it! What was I thinking! lol
Ok, now its time for me to respond to the 27 comments left after I posted my last blog. Firstly, this site is NOT intended to provide uplifting inspiration or anything else for that matter. It is intended to allow me a venue to express my innermost thoughts, whether they be good, bad or indifferent. If it does inspire or make people think about whats going on in their own life, then great, that's an added bonus. In the end, I do appreciate everyone's comments although I disagree with the ability to leave "anonymous" signatures after you post. I think if you have the need to reply in a manner that may be deemed non-positive or could be taken out of context, you should at least have the courtesy to send me an e-mail, so I can reply to you personally without the rest of the on-line world being involved.
I am not here to slam,demean or demoralize anyone. Anything and everything I have written is the truth, and yes, sometimes the truth hurts. But in the end, the truth prevails. I will be ensuring that this blog is printed off and a copy goes to my daughter when the time is appropriate. If I am not around to explain to her myself, at least she will know that this is what I thought about and dealt with during this battle. There are enough people (both family and friends) that I trust will make sure that Faith remembers her REAL daddy and what he was like, what he stood for etc.
In closing, I'd like to once again thank everyone for their comments, whether I or anyone else agreed with them or not. In the future though, please attach your name or at least shoot me a mail saying "hey Ed, that comment was from me, and here's why I said it". That way, I'll at least know that you are not replying to the blog just for the sake of stirring the pot or otherwise.
Take care,
Ed McDade
ed_mcdade@hotmail.com
Sunday, March 29, 2009
Thursday, March 12, 2009
Still kickin'
Its been a while since I've written anything on here. My only excuses are that I've been tied up in a lot of family matters that I won't bore you with and that I am finally preparing to move in a couple of weeks. The packing alone is a slow and tedious process when you've only got one good functioning leg. I can certainly empathize with one of our great Canadian heroes, Terry Fox, who battled daily to just "keep on moving along". My left leg will never get any better, it will always remain about 30-40% numb and I'll never have much control over its actions. That has to be the most frustrating part of my life right now. Not the fact that I am, according to the Doctors, more than 1/2 way into my life expectancy of 1.5 to 2 years. I can deal with that at a later date....its the "here and now" that is ticking me off. For those of you that know me personally, you'll remember me as always on the go, never afraid of a little hard work or sweat and more than willing to lend a helping hand.
These things have been taken from me now and that infuriates me to no end. Now I have to rely on others to take up the slack where I used to be able to. For 6 years I have been picking up my daughter every other weekend as well as taking her to indoor and outdoor soccer and dance on my off weekends without any grumbling. The Ministry of Transportation, along with my Oncologist, decided that due to my condition, they would revoke my driver's licence last March 2008. I was able to get away with it until about a month ago when I got pulled over by the town coppers. They must have decided to run my plates and of course it came back saying "license suspended due to medical reasons". Luckily I was able to get away without a fine but was informed that the next time I would face a minimum fine of $5000.00 all the way up to $25000.00. When I go for my MRI next month, I will be talking with my Oncologist about the possibility of getting my license back. In the meantime, stubborn old me will probably continue to drive (in stealth-mode of course). Faith's mother, however, will not allow Faith to be in the car with me. I have mixed feelings on that but I can see her point of view to an extent.
I guess where I am headed with this is that I am not happy with my daughter's mother right now for a couple of reasons...firstly, she seems to think that my family should do some of the driving to transport Faith to my place (50km each way) since she won't be able to do it all the time. Excuse me but my family did not give birth to OUR daughter, we did! Secondly, Faith's mom also is wanting MORE support money from me even though we both agreed on a set amount after my income was reduced to 60% of what I used to make. The amount agreed upon was 60% of what I used to pay her. To me, that seems only fair and I am sure the Family Responsibility Office would agree. I guess I am supposed to suck it up, deal with a terminal illness, pay for meds and equipment that are not covered by my Drug/Benefit plan, while she continues to live her life without ANY changes to HER finances. I have offered to go above and beyond what I am legally responsible to pay, between what I can give her, and what Canada Pension Disability can contribute for Faith, but she has not got back to me on this. I am by no means trying to slam this person but this is what I deal with. Its no wonder that some days I just want to shut the whole thing down and "log off" from the world,and go into hibernate mode!
I apologize for hammering this out on my blog but I guess this is my only place to vent without fear of repercussion since my ex has never bothered to read my blog from day one.
On a bit of a more positive note, I just returned from a trip to Punta Cana with a friend of mine. The trip was enjoyable but it physically drained me. I don't think I'll be travelling too far in the near future. I now just need to focus on getting this move completed and by that time, hopefully some warmer weather will be here and I can breathe again.
Please do not think I am feeling sorry for myself because I am not....I am only voicing my frustration of my physical limitations and my frustrations with certain people. I will continue to persevere and trudge onward as I have always done. Nothing will stop me, not a woman, not a cop or anything else who decides to get in my way. What have I got to lose right!! (wink)
I shall close off now and wait to hear all the shocking comments. lol
Remaining strong-willed and positive......
Ed McDade
These things have been taken from me now and that infuriates me to no end. Now I have to rely on others to take up the slack where I used to be able to. For 6 years I have been picking up my daughter every other weekend as well as taking her to indoor and outdoor soccer and dance on my off weekends without any grumbling. The Ministry of Transportation, along with my Oncologist, decided that due to my condition, they would revoke my driver's licence last March 2008. I was able to get away with it until about a month ago when I got pulled over by the town coppers. They must have decided to run my plates and of course it came back saying "license suspended due to medical reasons". Luckily I was able to get away without a fine but was informed that the next time I would face a minimum fine of $5000.00 all the way up to $25000.00. When I go for my MRI next month, I will be talking with my Oncologist about the possibility of getting my license back. In the meantime, stubborn old me will probably continue to drive (in stealth-mode of course). Faith's mother, however, will not allow Faith to be in the car with me. I have mixed feelings on that but I can see her point of view to an extent.
I guess where I am headed with this is that I am not happy with my daughter's mother right now for a couple of reasons...firstly, she seems to think that my family should do some of the driving to transport Faith to my place (50km each way) since she won't be able to do it all the time. Excuse me but my family did not give birth to OUR daughter, we did! Secondly, Faith's mom also is wanting MORE support money from me even though we both agreed on a set amount after my income was reduced to 60% of what I used to make. The amount agreed upon was 60% of what I used to pay her. To me, that seems only fair and I am sure the Family Responsibility Office would agree. I guess I am supposed to suck it up, deal with a terminal illness, pay for meds and equipment that are not covered by my Drug/Benefit plan, while she continues to live her life without ANY changes to HER finances. I have offered to go above and beyond what I am legally responsible to pay, between what I can give her, and what Canada Pension Disability can contribute for Faith, but she has not got back to me on this. I am by no means trying to slam this person but this is what I deal with. Its no wonder that some days I just want to shut the whole thing down and "log off" from the world,and go into hibernate mode!
I apologize for hammering this out on my blog but I guess this is my only place to vent without fear of repercussion since my ex has never bothered to read my blog from day one.
On a bit of a more positive note, I just returned from a trip to Punta Cana with a friend of mine. The trip was enjoyable but it physically drained me. I don't think I'll be travelling too far in the near future. I now just need to focus on getting this move completed and by that time, hopefully some warmer weather will be here and I can breathe again.
Please do not think I am feeling sorry for myself because I am not....I am only voicing my frustration of my physical limitations and my frustrations with certain people. I will continue to persevere and trudge onward as I have always done. Nothing will stop me, not a woman, not a cop or anything else who decides to get in my way. What have I got to lose right!! (wink)
I shall close off now and wait to hear all the shocking comments. lol
Remaining strong-willed and positive......
Ed McDade
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