Second Surgery Update

Hello from me, sitting outside on my deck, at 3:30am on an early Saturday morning (or late Friday night if you are under 40 years old!! ......been up for over 2 hours. My sleeping pattern seems to be getting worse instead of better now that I've been off the chemotherapy for about a month!! I am sure the announcement of the return of the tumour and my upcoming second surgery are not helping either though right?

So surgery.....its now been officially rescheduled for this coming Wednesday August 27th at University Hospital in London. My "infected hangnail" is better and I think I will have to live in a bubble until Wednesday so as to not cut, scratch or otherwise maim myself before surgery! ;)
The thought of having this second surgery "awake" actually does not scare me. What scares me is knowing that radiation and chemotherapy did not work. So at this point, my only real "tested" option, is to go through with this awake surgery, which will allow the surgeon to hopefully remove more tumour mass closer to the edge of it. After researching this, I've come to see that it is not as uncommon a procedure as we'd all think. It sounds very invasive but hey, so is this damned cancer. Fight fire with fire I say!!!! The doctors have already forewarned that at this point, we are all about "trying to maintain quality of life". Simply put, we've gone through the normal steps of trying to conquer this thing but its gonna be like the Everyready Bunny.....going and going and going.

I am not ever giving up as long as I have something to live for. And at this time, I have EVERYTHING to live for. In an otherwise grim situation, I can't tell you the joy it gives me to feel my family getting closer to each other and remembering that no one can replace your family. I love them all so dearly....in my own quirky way I'm sure I'll hear them say!!

As for work and personal friends...........WOW. I truly truly truly thought I lived a quiet life and pretty much kept to myself but after experiencing the outpouring of kindness since all this began, I've begun to think that I guess I must not be too bad of a guy and have been able to leave an impression (whether it be a good or not so good one!) on some folks. Its shown me who will stick with you through thick and thin, who are fairweather friends and who actually truly cared when I didn't realize they did. I guess its a life event that has opened my eyes to the stuff that matters, and to not sweat the small stuff as they say.

At this point I can accept what the future may hold.....if the next time the tumour re-surfaces and decides to take a left or right turn in my brain, I could be facing blindness and or paralyzation. I'm aware of that and ready for whatever they want to throw my way. On the down side of all that, modern medicine also says that there are only so many times you can keep removing tumour mass before you start to further invade good brain mass. Is that why I keep getting called "pea-brain"?? lol

My chin is up, my nerves are still of steel (99%) and I'm ready for them to give me some more time on this earth after Wednesday. So if I can ask you to do anything......say some words to your higher power, cross your fingers and do NOT take my doctor out for drinks the night before my surgery!!!!! ;)

Love ya all!

Ed